Cookies and Milk

To me, one of the greatest joys in life is to wake up in the wee hours of the morning, turn on my coffee pot, and gaze out the window at the passing traffic on Sutton St while sitting at my kitchen table. There is something so serene amnd peaceful about early morning coffee that I couldn't imagine life without it.

I believe it first started in Reno, where at the time, my fiancee and I had purchased a small home near the Peppermill. My kitchan was huge! Half of it was glass sliding doors. My fiancee, being a house painter, amd a mighty fine good one, I will give him that, had painted my kitchen this cheery, non-obnoxious shade of yellow. The cabinets were covered with glass display doors, and my oven was built into the wall. I may have cursed the fiancee, and the house for that matter, later on down the line, but that kitchen never did me no wrong no how.

I am so thankful to have these little joys in life. I am also very thankful for the last 9 months that I spent with my currently-exiting boyfriend. Although we both knew deep down this would never pan out, we genuinely had strong feelings for one another. I tear up as I write this, because my feelings for him are very real, even though he will be gone to California within a matter of weeks. It is all I can do not to reminisce about the past year....all the trips, all the late night pizza runs...all the early morning love making. I am almost positive that my period is on its way...this all hurts a tad more than usual.

Last night we hugged, and it felt wonderful. Not in a sexual wayt, but in a pure "I still love you" sort of way. He backed off and said, "I had better stop, I am starting to like it." When will this nightmare end? I implore you, when?