Painful...oh so painful

I do not know how much longer I can endure this torture here at home. He loved me once...and now every time I look at him I want to cry. It is all so confusing and I am talking in circles. Blah blah she says. Blah blah. I dont think this will ever get any better, but i know deep down that it will. I am not worried about the future persay - more just uncertain of whats to come, and I find that very frightening.

Such a tangled web we weave. It becomes quite complicated at times, we forget where it begins and where it ends. There is no clear way in or out. We just keep running in circles - getting dizzy and wondering why.

Today, I went to the park. I was miserable and ready to scream. I wandered over to a swing and sat down. I sat still for a moment and then slowly began to swing back and forth. The feeling of being young and free again overcame my senses, and in the unseasonably warm spring evening air I felt at peace and centered for the first time in a long time.

It did my heart good to just sit and feel peaceful.