What the hell??? Every nerve in my body is on fire. I am home, alone, and trying to enjoy a well deserved day off. There is some sort of anxiety coarsing through my veins. It is a beautiful day outside and I should be extremely pleased with it, and the fact I have some quiet time alone. But I'm not. I am on edge in the worse way, and right now I figured writing was my best escape.
I made my mom's butterscotch cookies today. I can't bring myself to try one, but according to Gary, my mom would sure be proud. Regardless, I think she was always proud anyway. I have always stood up for myself, even in the worst of situations.
I wish I could just go to sleep, but I am so not tired. Yesterday I actually got some sleep, alot as a matter of fact.
I feel as if I NEED to throw myself into something; something to take my mind off of all that is happening. Where is the peace I seek to find???
Is this the beginning of a slow moving nervous breakdown? Nay, I say. I will not be a victim of circumstance.
Maybe if I just go throw up I will feel better. There is a nagging upset in my tummy that is screaming to be remedied. Maybe it was too much coffee, I really don't know.
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