What the hell???  Every nerve in my body is on fire.  I am home, alone, and trying to enjoy a well deserved day off.  There is some sort of anxiety coarsing through my veins.  It is a beautiful day outside and I should be extremely pleased with it, and the fact I have some quiet time alone.  But I'm not.  I am on edge in the worse way, and right now I figured writing was my best escape.
I made my mom's butterscotch cookies today.  I can't bring myself to try one, but according to Gary, my mom would sure be proud.  Regardless, I think she was always proud anyway.  I have always stood up for myself, even in the worst of situations.  
I wish I could just go to sleep, but I am so not tired.  Yesterday I actually got some sleep, alot as a matter of fact.
I feel as if I NEED to throw myself into something; something to take my mind off of all that is happening.  Where is the peace I seek to find???
Is this the beginning of a slow moving nervous breakdown?  Nay, I say.  I will not be a victim of circumstance.  
Maybe if I just go throw up I will feel better.  There is a nagging upset in my tummy that is screaming to be remedied.  Maybe it was too much coffee, I really don't know.
Saturday, March 22, 2008
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